🇬🇧 Kindness: an act of rebellion
In a society focused entirely on productivity, perfectionism seems to have taken over. Failure is seen as an event that should make a person feel shame, rather than as an opportunity for growth. Failure feels like a sentence condemning the individual to feel guilt for the rest of their life.
When a school year is lost, when one fails a university exam after studying for months or when at work one falls short of the goals set, it is easy to fall into a deep spiral of sadness that leads to isolation and depression. How many times do we open the front pages of newspapers and read about university students who took their own lives just days before a fake graduation ceremony? Today a person’s life is worth less than a result or an expectation not to disappoint. We live in a society governed by strict self-criticism, marked by negative reactions to mistakes, because in this world one cannot make errors. The society we live in is highly competitive; every individual is placed on a pedestal to push them to appear better than others at all costs: competition increases productivity; the more competitive one is, the more one produces.
A prestigious job, a high salary, a high-profile career are seen as the only goals worth directing one’s efforts toward; otherwise, one is not considered worthy of respect or admiration. When we open newspapers or browse social media, we notice that only those who have earned a university degree with top marks in just a few years are praised or glorified, perhaps sleeping only a few hours a night or giving up many needs and pleasures. In fact, rather than celebrating those who have dedicated themselves entirely to achieving these goals, it seems that the media tend to belittle those who have chosen to live a balanced life. This is evident from statements such as: “To succeed, we must even give up sleep,” or “We must work at night or even when we are ill, if necessary.” How many times have you heard or read phrases like this?
I want to clarify that this post is not meant to belittle the achievements of people who have focused their efforts on a goal; on the contrary, dedication and determination are the most important tools to put into action when one wants to pursue an objective. However the glorification of a world where everyone is constantly running and where slowing down is not allowed tends to instill in people the idea that every minute not spent pursuing a goal is wasted time. Have you ever felt guilty when you didn't study for a university exam for a day? Slowing down or taking a break, even a long one if needed, is not a wrongdoing but a necessity, part of human nature and something the body and mind require. After all, we are human beings, not robots. Valuing your time by adopting a healthy lifestyle also means, above all, taking care of yourself.
However, in a society focused entirely on productivity, breaks are not allowed or are kept to a minimum. If you don't save money for an investment that increases productivity, if you choose to live in the present rather than be overwhelmed by anxiety about the future, if you decide to spend more time with family and friends instead of working or pursuing certain professional goals, today’s society sees this as a mistake as serious as it is unforgivable. In a system that wants everyone to conform, people must focus only on what is productive, even at the cost of losing their own identity.
My eyes cannot help noticing that many people spend most hours of their lives doing what they don't love, finding themselves trapped in highly toxic environments. You can see it in the constant dissatisfaction that then wears down emotional relationships, in the continuous complaints we constantly hear when we step outside or in the disarming ease with which people react with anger and frustration to issues of little importance. Think about when you drive your car or ride your bicycle in the busiest areas of the city where you live or when you try to express different points of view while talking to someone, especially on topics such as politics or sports. Unhappy people, in order to appear superior to their interlocutor, impose their ideas and reasons with anger; they shout until they drown out the words of others. People no longer know how to listen, but simply wait for their turn to speak.
I have learned the hard way that in situations like these, reacting with anger only serves to escalate aggression even further, which doesn't lead to resolving the conflict but only increases it, sometimes with dramatic consequences.
People argue with each other over trivial matters: a different point of view, a parking spot, problems at work, competition for a university exam, for a professional goal or for a promotion at work. In short, I could list countless reasons, but crossing the Mediterranean would be enough to realize that the issues I just mentioned are of little importance, since we have been fortunate to be born and raised in that small part of the world where material wealth is abundant. Being aware that the world is much more than what we see in our own community would make people more grateful and less aggressive.
In the face of so much anger and frustration, kindness has become a revolutionary gesture, an act of rebellion against a system where heated arguments are an everyday occurrence. Kindness is a value I care deeply about passing on to the students in the classrooms I enter and one I have learned while traveling in countries that are economically poorer than Italy: I am referring to Albania, but especially to Tanzania. Over there, people live with very few belongings and what little they have is shared gladly with those in need, with guests, friends and family. In Tanzania, the most common expressions in Swahili are “Hakuna Matata” and “Hakuna Shida,” phrases that can be translated into English as “No problem”. In those places, people don't focus on what they lack but are grateful for what they have, starting with a roof over their heads or a good meal, resources that in most parts of the world are far from guaranteed. These observations have been highly formative for someone like me, who never even considered the possibility that a university exam could go badly.
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| Eradicating poverty is not an act of charity; it is an act of justice. You too can help the students of Ejo's School in Arusha. |
In Tanzania, smiles are an everyday occurrence; people greet each other even when they don't know one another. Try greeting someone you don't know in the more developed countries of the European Union: you would surely be met with puzzled looks and expressions of confusion. At the same time, however, in this small part of the world, people insult each other with a disarming and ruthless ease. People are more reluctant to act with kindness and affection than to be constantly gruff and suspicious.
Let us instead try to practice kindness and universal love every day. These are acts that require courage in a westernized system, but at the same time they have positive effects on mood. When someone speaks to you with aggression, continue to respond with kindness and if the anger persists, end the conversation or distance yourself from the person with the awareness that anyone who feels anger is simply an individual who is suffering. Time is a precious resource: don't waste it in environments or places that negatively affect your mood; don't devote it to relentless productivity, but spend it with the people you care about most or doing the activities you love, perhaps working to turn your passions into a career. CONFUCIUS, a Chinese philosopher who lived between the sixth and fifth centuries BC, said: Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life. Have the courage to turn this saying into reality. Each of you deserves it. Life is not a task but a gift with a limited time, which should therefore be spent living, not merely surviving.
To you who are reading this, I wish that you surprise others with your kindness and live a life marked by little stress and much serenity. Try to imagine what the world would be like if everyone were kinder.
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| Hi, I’m Leopoldo Lagrimosa. I’m glad you’re here on my blog. |
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